Rieubanian Angel

a site for my poetry.....

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Location: IL, United States

I'm not exactly crazy about myself like most people think, but whatever

Sunday, March 04, 2007

broken, and in hell

i am rena, martyr of the gods
love me, hate me
i dont care
i am myself, and thats all that matters
Hold me, Chris, before i fall
love me before i die
love me before i wont let you into my heart
or else youll end up like 'he' did
afraid, and alone
wait for me
for i will not wait until you cry out to me
i am the darkness
i am no longer
what i used to be
love me, hate me
i dont care
catch me
what darkness do you speak of?
the hell of a dead heart?
nothing like that
a darkness that is more than hell
more than that of a dead heart
one of not knowing
the one where you dont even know your own name
thats my hell
love me there
that is where my heart lies
forever dead
but you can save me
just call my name, anytime, anyplace
and ill come
ill come to you
from the darkness
love me forever more
i am only myself
hold me like i am feathers
for i am too heavy
heavier than life's burdens
kill me if you will
i will come back though
this is my darkness
you are my poison
the decison that i face
which way to turn
shall i go straight, or turn to the right?
please help me decide
for you are the only one
the only one who can heal my darkness
i love you
never forget that
i love you
never forget that
I love only you
please dont forget that
hold me, dearest, before i fall
hold me tightly, before i die
dont leave me.
You are the only one who really cared
dont leave me
dont leave me

Sunday, December 31, 2006

my only sanctuary

the anger that surrounds me,
i fear it constantly...
fear stems from this anger,
growing larger,
and more insistant each moment it lasts...
fear of the anger has sent me to my solitude,
my sanctuary...
the only place i can think...
the darkness of my bedroom,
that comforting feeling of being alone...
all for nothing,
for when i emerge,
the anger strikes at me again,
with its vicious claws,
its bottomless pit of despair...
and i fear it even more...
i withdraw again to my only sanctuary
my sanctuary is not to last
i will have to leave it again
to dispell my thoughts and gain more fear
in order to learn,
one must take risks
one must face the impending darkness of this fear...
the fear of the anger
anger of you.
anger of myself...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Not At All

can you see through my facade
its seamless walls
the door glued tightly shut
painted to seem happy
but behind it
the tears defy me
but behind it
you sympathize for me
and i can't stand that
not at all
i seriously want no pity
i want to be understood
but no sympathy
not from you
of all people you can't see
who i am behind the wall
you don't see my tears
or my shatered soul
you can't see who i am
not at all
but you turned me down
even when i offered
to open that door
what crazy maddness do you speak
when you won't even listen to me
my fragile heart broke
because of you
not at all

Gone With The Love

Love is natural
Love is not our decision
Who to love is destiny
And we cannot be forced
To love who we can't
Is a crime against nature
When we love one of our likeness
How dare they try to stop us
From loving who we love
And those from loving us
Love is not trivial
Like it was in the past
Love was a fairytale
It would never last
But to love from the heart
And sacrifice ourselves to love
Today it is at second priority
Ranked below work
Love should be first
On our list we have
Dissappearing so much lately
Are the revelations of late
As we try to understand
This sad nation of ours
A tale of love
Forever remains untold
To never look back on our dark past
the time has finally come... at last
So please, join me, hear me out
And will you feel my guilt and my sorrow

Sit Idly By

dont you call me naieve
my heart wont lie to me
yet your heart lies to you
and lets you stay unaware
of those feelings locked inside
the fragile heart of you
and my heart screams in pain
as you sit idly by
and i miss your warmth
that you never had
that you never let me feel
i will never get the chance
to hold you in my arms
you never wanted to share
yourself with anyone
but my heart will not give up
my mind will not give in
i will keep shaking the tree to make the dew drops fall
because love is forever
love is forever and all
why do you dislike
the one might love you
when all reasons are pathetic
and love will prevail
secrets will be revealed
so don't you call me naieve
for my heart is so dear
a heart is a flower
and love is the pollen

My Clueless Heart

touching my dry skin
like mid-summer rain
your smile is bright
and yet you set me on fire
burning my lips
like the salt from the sea
your happiness is annoying
when we see our future
the future of our pathetic selces
but yet you hold me close
not in reality
never in the flesh
will you touch me
nevertheless hold me
but you slightly notice me
why do you see me with your ever-closed eyes?
my clueless heart
sees them as open
and makes my heart race
but i can't get near you
your heart is closed to me
why can't you see me?
when i cry out your name
and your heart says no
why do you avoid me
when the heart must decide
and in my mind
you touch my dry skin
like mid-summer rain

Naruto Uzumaki, The Confidence

Listen to me
Listen to me
I am stronger than you think
I am a person too
But I've been lonely
For so, so long
And yet you still see me as
An unimportant nusiance
But I will be important
Now I am a genin
And I will prove to you all
That I am the strongest
The strongest of you all
I will be Hokage some day
And I will defeat Sasuke
I always try my hardest
And in three days
What took the Fourth
Three years to complete
My name is
Naruto Uzumaki
The best ninja around
So, listen to me
Listen to me
Can I have some ramen now?

Sasuke And Itachi Uchiha, The Hatred

finding the life
that you gave up
to see what you could do
to prove your limits
to show your power
you slaughtered them
in front of my eyes
you made me cry
using your new eyes
you killed them again
showing me in my mind
their bloody selves falling
falling in front of me
our family all bloody
the shuriken in the walls
the kunai in the door
the broken glass
of our family name
on the wooden floor
all to attain your new eyes
what the hell were you thinking
when you killed them that day
and you stole my future
you stole my appreciation of you
now it is your turn, brother,
to die by my hands
and lie in your blood
as i steal your life away


now i cry alone in my world of fears
crying all night until the dawn breaks
now i see who i was ment to be
why do i want to kiss him?
why dio i want to be in his arms?
why do i want to kiss him,
when all i need is his smile to survive
why do i want impossible things?

terrors grasping my every word
my fears are long overdue
now find me alone in my room
crying the night away

why do i want to kiss him?
why do i want to be in his arms?
why do i want to kiss him,
when all i need is his smile to survive.

because i want him forever
to help ease my pain inside
to make my fears disperse

terrors grasping my every word
my fears are long overdue
now find me alone in my room
crying the night away

what i wouldnt give to sleep for a night
to rid me of my nightmares
but i still want to kiss him
to ease my heavy chains

because i want him forever
to help ease my pain inside
to make my fears disperse

his hand around my waist
is this a dream
or is it reality
help me understand these things

now i see who i was ment to be
and i still cant see the sun

Saturday, December 02, 2006

The Past Is Real

The Past is Real (Because) by Spork
Inspired by Papa Roach

Our scars remind us
That the past is real
I tear my heart open
Just to feel
And our scars
Show our past
Filled with war
Filled with regret
And our scarred hearts
Cried throughout the sad nights
Death is our acquaintance
Met with only too often
To be afraid of her
And her black cat of destiny
A painful sting in m side
Heartache lives evermore
We dwell in ourselves
Living every day
To our utmost limit
Wandering for hours
Ever day
Asking ourselves
“Will we be here again”
Because we lie to everyone
We are not from here
We came from somewhere
So far away
And I tear my heart open
Just to feel
The life and the love
That you falsify
And I can’t help it or deny
That my heart lies to me
And your soul breaks
Like glass in the rain
And my painful heartache
From saying goodbye
And life long courage
Breaks down over the years
Hearts break
As the land burns slowly
Through our slow death
Ever in the after
Our sins and the sinned
Crying for water
To quench our thirst
And it just won’t come
And our hearts fade
And we start to realize
That we are not ourselves
Until we really die
Both inside
And outside
The past is forever real
And you can’t go home.


Friday, November 03, 2006

how about this?

In Japanese:
、住むためには、迄dissappearing 、役に立たない苦痛は最後にあなたの暗闇に理解、この悲しい国家、愛物語、明かでない立場真実危なくない、今許可したそれを開く、決して一見、を過ぎた、時間来た... 結合する私を、聞く私を、感じる私の有罪、私の悲哀を
In English:
In order, to live, to you open that the pain which is not useful dissappearing and lastly understanding, this sad nation and love story, the standpoint truth which is not distinct is not dangerous in your darkness, now permits, never at first glance, it passed, time it came... my guilt which feels me who hear me who am connected,, my sorrow

to live futile pain

In English:
to live, futile pain
dissappearing,revelation,understanding,this sad nation,loves tale,stands untold,the truth is dangerous,now let it unfold,never look back,unto your dark past,the time has come... at last join me, hear me out,feel my guilt, my sorrow
In Japanese:
dissappearing 、役に立たない苦痛は最後にあなたの暗闇に理解、この悲しい国家、愛物語、明かでない立場真実危なくない、今許可したそれを開く、決して一見、を過ぎた、時間来た... 結合する私を、聞く私を、感じる私の有罪、私の悲哀を


In Japanese:
どの位まで私の最終的な嘆願の聴取を動かしたか知っていたら私の甘い精神異常できたら私に接吻しなさい彼は彼の接吻によって引き起こされる彼自身の2 つの私の中心の長円の私の唇に触れる余りにも本当の血の突進がこれによってが私のsoloution の自由および鳩である本当愛を見つけるには彼が至福の新年の回転に手にブラシをかけた唇の接吻をhushed

When it moves listening my final suit to some rank and has known high when the insanity where I am sweet it is possible, kisses to me he touches my lip of his himself two my central ellipses which are pulled up by that kiss, even excessively rush of the true blood, with this to find the truth love which is the freedom and the pigeon of my soloution, kiss of the lip where he used the brush on the hand in revolution of New Year of happiness hushed

a winter's night

In Japanese:

Sighing with the air where the winter is cool, the crow sings and as she stands, in woman everyone of the night when it waits for the song where the loss which sighs the death of their love is sad being lost, way the night when it waits for her where she does him it waited, her center in that invitation her knee to her, with her who trembles from the fact that the cool eye you have awakened with the night being the enemy night where the unlimited night which is she is large the snow which her it loves raises for that it happens, being pure, of surrounding her wind which blows the wind-swept rising which is white heavyheartedly permanently the fear Until the snow the drifting person crow it did not die, just him being and giving her where her eye has awakened the scream of the scream for ally which has made her lung freeze which hangs on and still grasps atrophies her the only victim tonight of the woman winter of the night because of scream it leaves heavyheartedly

Saturday, October 28, 2006

to love, heart's desire

to live, to love, to learn
i love him.
i live him.
i learn him.
i use him.
i want him,
just so bad.

he lives me.
he loves me.
he learns me well.

i kissed him,
he, me back.

but i don't remember his name.
i remember his face...
and only this part.
i remember his kiss,
for he treated me well.

to live, futile pain


this sad nation,

loves tale,
stands untold,

the truth is dangerous,
now let it unfold,

never look back,
unto your dark past,

the time has come
... at last

join me, hear me out,
feel my guilt, my sorrow


kiss me if you can
my sweet insanity
knowing how far you ran
hearing my final plea

he touches my lips
with his own two
my heart's ellipse
caused by his kiss too true

blood rush
hushed lips kiss
he did brush
hands into bliss

new years revolution
to find true love
this is my soloution
liberty and the dove

Drak Faerie

i thought that i had lost...
lost my love, my heart, my soul.
it turns out, that i lost myself
in the void, the dull and empty void of my skin.
no more will i seem that way to him,
but it always will, and never shall,
be, again, the same.
faerie sin, an unforgivable truth,
to which i base my elvin heritage,
so far i've dissappeared,
never to return, to my former self,
my faerie self, i lost my wings,
therefore i lost my religion, and
gained my deadly sins in turn.
the fear i struck into my lover's heart,
i felt inside of my own.
but no more, i rationalized,
would i live to hurt another,
but, no, my destiny has been decided.
i am to be a dark faerie,
the most legendary one at that,
my name is Fiore`,
i am the dark faerie
i am darkness,
eternal darkness,
final prayers, set aside,
until i die, revenge will be mine.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Ole Hallow's Eve

let the fear flow
let yourself enjoy it
Ole Hallow's Eve
draws nigh
fearful eyes
draw them close
the ghosts and ghouls
i love them so much
how will they scare me
when they are a part of my life
when do we sing
when we see ourselves
in the magick mirrors
of the haunted house
fear me please
fear my love for them
fear my eyes
my eyes of no fear
as they haunt your heart
for my love draws close
and my heart is my own
so please see my side
Ole Hallow's Eve
my heart's calling
and fears unseen
as the Witches and Deadlifes call for me
love my soul
love my fear
love my life
love Halloween


Final Fear (Kingdom Hearts Version)

when will we be ourselves again
when the fear fades
and our hearts return
from the darkness
as fear recedes
our dangerous future is revealed
for why we sing,
you understand
is for those thirteen,
and when challenged by their otherselves,
they fought frivously.
but the light they found
drowned their fear
and their happiness came at last
it was their
final fear

A Winter's Night

mourning in the winters chill air
the crows sing a sad song of loss
mourning the death of thier love
the lady of the night
as she stood, waiting
ever lost to no one
as she waited for him
ever did she wait
holding still her heart
the night freezing her lungs
holding on to his invitation
the only thing he ever gave her
awake she was until she died
her knees quivering froim the cold
awake she was through the night
her love for him unbounded
night happened to be
the big enemy
night, to her, posed no fear
snow surrounding her
wind blowing forever
snow, pure white
wind-swept up the drifters
sadly the crows cry
cry for their ally
sadly fades away
cry for her tonight
the lady of the night
the winter's only victim